Sunday, 24 September 2017

Hello from Middle Earth

Or the East Midlands as the locals would probably prefer to call it. I've taken to calling it Middle Earth purely because it makes me feel more at home - I mean there is a place around here called Moira...it had mines and everything...just saying.

Hello!  I have just realised that its now over a year since I last posted on this little space of mine, I must say that I feel a little apprehensive, it's been such a while and I can't say I know just how to get back into this blogging lark, I guess a little rundown of what I've been up to these last 12 and a bit months is as good a way as any!

So much has changed in my life since this time last year that if you had told me then where I would be now I would have told you to "sod off and stop being silly!" Yeah, I'm actually quite a meany!

Goofballs in Berlin
So, in late September last year I'd just got back from a trip to Berlin (such a fabulous place) with my folks and brother to watch him run the marathon (he did very well and we are all super proud) and I was hesitantly preparing to start a new job miles away from London in the shires of Leicester at the beginning of October.

Hinckley. This canal runs right near to the Triumph Motorbike factory though from this angle you would never guess!
The company I had been working for 10 years (blimey that feels like forever) EFE had been struggling for a long while and so when a job offer came from Bachmann (they make trains rather than buses) I knew that I should take it. The stress of not knowing from one day to the next whether I would have a job was making me really unwell and starting to undo all the good work I had done with my anxiety counselling. So I took the massive leap to move 100 miles away to Hinckley in the East Midlands and start afresh at a new company. The funny thing is that a month after starting my new company bought out my old one so I still work on the EFE buses, as I did before, albeit in a much more reduced capacity. It's mostly about the trains for me now and I have learned a heck of a lot about those in the last year!

Christmas with my family
Initially, I moved into a shared house (on my counsellor's advice) which was a little cheaper and meant I had a bit more flexibility to decide if this was the job for me. After moving I was returning on the weekends back to London to see the Boyfriend, Beau (the cat) and my sewing machine, but by the January of this year I realised this situation was making me utterly miserable (I'd spent most of Christmas in tears, though you would never guess from my Instagram feed). I knew it was time to make the decision and leave London for good. I was paying two rents so my boyfriend could afford to stay where we were living and it was crippling me - I lost 2 stone because of the stress and lack of money for food. Plus the burden of trying to keep a relationship going that was I was getting nothing back from, was unbearable. I think we both loved each other (at least I know I did) we were just no longer able to make each other happy, I think it was deep down the reason I took the job, I kinda knew (though I didn't want to see it) that things between us were over and had been for years.

Moving: Boxes // Beau breaking my heart by packing himself // more boxes
New place and utter chaos // getting better stuff has been whittled down // finished...just don't expect me to move
again too soon!
So by April, I had found myself a new place on my own to rent and with the help of my lovely mate, Phillip, we moved all my stuff up to my new home. I took the opportunity to have a massive clear out of things I had accumulated that just didn't feel like me anymore, I gave loads away to the Ex and to charity, I needed to shed stuff it was weighing me down. I also realised that I had totally lost the desire to be crafty, knitting and sewing were just not something I was craving at all, it scared me a bit but I knew that much of why I threw myself into them and this blog was because I was feeling so miserable with my life in London, they had for years made me feel better but now that I wasn't as sad all the time I didn't need my crafty band-aid to help me get through the days.

Beau and my parent's wild carpet which has been in the house since the 1950s!
It's threadbare in places but it's holding up surprisingly well for a nearly 70-year-old!
Beau, it was amicably decided, was going to live with my folks up in Liverpool as my new place is part furnished and doesn't allow fury family members. The Ex (still feels odd calling him that, especially as I have never had one before) very kindly drove him up to them for me, which must have been hard as he truly adores him - I offered for him to keep him, praying he would say no, but he was adamant that he was mine and so he's now become a Scouser and is just as much of a little daemon as before and living the life of Riley being fed and fussed by all he meets up in the 'Pool!

Me eating cake and Phillip checking out the views...pretty much sums up our trip! Caaake!
I also in April took a little trip to Amsterdam with Phillip as it was somewhere we both wanted to go and neither of us having significant others we decided to go together, as mates before you wonder, it was a lovely break away and just the tonic I needed (goodness I ate soo much cake!)  after the emotional rollercoaster of the first few months of 2017.

Beautiful Jess & Rhys, celebrating their engagement.
Together 10 years and they're still in their early 20s!
So that brings us to now, since moving here I have made a some really good friends, and some really great ones, who if it wasn't for, I would have crumbled and given up more than once (you know who you are, Jess & Benn - in case you don't) though I still miss my London mates a ridiculous amount, this is my home now.  I had the honour a few weeks ago of taking some engagement photos for the beautiful Jess and her fiancee Rhys, which was just so much fun and so lovely to watch them enjoy their moment.

Benn on the decks
I've been to a soul night in Llangollen with Benn, who apart from being a bloody brilliant drummer is also a Soul Sauce DJ, I took along my camera so that I could mess around with it and grab a few snaps and as it turned out a bit of video (you can see my efforts here) the set was great, I thoroughly enjoyed the music, the company and getting my teeth back into photography. Thanks also to Benn I've seen Brian Wilson and Al Jardine play Pet Sounds in Sheffield, an utter dream come true I can assure you, it was a magical evening one I won't forget!

Glyndyfrdwy Station on the Llangollen line

Work has also had its fun I have been to lots of preserved railways which means it honestly doesn't feel like work at all! I also got dressed up in my 1940s finery to attend the Cosby Victory Show as a videographer see the video here for the W.Britian brand a few weeks back - I know, I should be paying them for such things! One thing that surprised me is that my Cockney accent gets mocked and laughed at here on a daily basis, which I am still learning to live with I mean I sound pretty normal to me! I have taken on a bit of the local lingo I've learned a few new words so as I can attempt to fit in, s Jitty which is an Alleyway round these parts, Chopsin' which means Chatting and Bosting which means great. Oh, and if anyone has anymore just let me know!

Me manning (or womanning) the stand at Llangollen Classic Transport Weekend

It has taken a while and I can't lie my new job is much more intense than the old one, but I can honestly say I am happier now than I can remember. My anxiety is lower than it has been in years and I have back the hope that I once lost. I am not saying that I am cured by any means, but the therapy I had before leaving London was the best thing I could have ever done for myself, and I am thankful for it every day that I don't wake up crying (or convinced I can't leave the house or that have some horrific illness). The best part is that I can slowly feel my crafty mojo coming back I have finished off a dress that has been in my UFO pile for years and I have knitted another Hermione sock - just the one at the moment I don't want to overdo it!

A trip to the GCR after work
I am not sure where this space of the internet will go from here, I hope to post some more things very soon, but I just don't know if that will happen. I have missed catching up with everyone's blogs, the community on here has helped me through many hard times, though I doubt you could tell, the thing about the internet is we get very good at showing our best bits and hiding the bad and as long as you realise that it's edited it can still be a great place to dwell. I have often referred to this blog as my happy space and it truly is, it's just now its a little more honest than perhaps I had expected but I am totally okay with that!

Wendy x

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